


I Only Rescue Maidens

by josiepug



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gen, JB Appreciation Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 06:26:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2378171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/josiepug/pseuds/josiepug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaime has ideas. Brienne just wants to get the damn book published.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Only Rescue Maidens

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the quote prompt of J/B Appreciation Week.

_“I Only Rescue Maidens?_ Seriously? That is the single douchiest autobiography title I have heard in my entire life. And _that_ is a competitive category.” Brienne was trying desperately not to lose her temper, but Jaime Lannister had turned pushing her buttons into an art form. Unfortunately, this time she thought he was being serious. 

Brienne wanted to impress upon him the scale of this bad idea, but he interrupted her before she could start. “Did you just say “douchiest’?” His smile was the most infuriating thing Brienne had ever encountered. “Because that’s definitely not a word.” He made a face of mock horror. “How could the noble Brienne stoop so low as to adjectify a word?”

This was why his stupid autobiography was two months late. Brienne closed her eyes for a second, trying to calm herself the way she had learnt in martial arts as a kid. She could not afford to rise to the bait. They had work to do.

“You absolutely cannot title your book like you’re the hero of some sexist, antiquated fairy tale. That’s ridiculous. The world has had enough of entitled athletes and their bullshit. No one reads sports stories for the trophies or maidens or anything. They read them for the human interest. They read them to reassure themselves that they’re not shallow for loving someone who pokes at people for a living.”

Jaime smirked.

“With a sword,” Brienne amended, blushing. Jaime’s grin just widened at that and she gave up. “You know what I mean. _I Only Rescue Maidens_ is about as shallow and arrogant as it can get. And while that may fit you to a tee, that’s not what we want the rest of the world to think.”

Jaime’s smile didn’t move, but his eyes darkened. For a second, he looked almost dangerous. “You’re so naive. Do you really think it matters what I call the goddamn book? The public has been judging me since Aerys and a pretty cover isn’t going to change any of that. They’re comfortable. I’m the golden boy asshole who got away with murder. End of story. They don’t care what the book says. Hell, I don’t care what the book says. It will sell and that’s all anyone should worry about. _I Only Rescue Maidens_ will be the title because that’s what I say it will be. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about it.”

As much as she hated Jaime Lannister and his smirk and his expensive suit and his polished shoes on her desk, a small part of her admired his guts. Most of the athletically gifted dicks who stepped into the publishing office wanted to paint themselves as charismatic philanthropists who thanked God every day for their natural gifts. Jaime didn’t put on an act. He was not a good person. He had even admitted, right here in her office, that he had gotten away with murder. The thought should have terrified Brienne.

It didn’t.

But it did confuse her. For just a moment, there was more to his expression than that of a spoiled, athletically gifted brat. But the next moment, she was certain she had imagined the shift as the smug smirk slid firmly back into place. Any trace of resentment was gone from his perfect features. “Guess that’s settled then. When’s our next little date going to be?”

It took Brienne a moment to collect her thoughts. “Thursday. I need to see you on Thursday.”

“Perfect.” His teeth were distractingly white. Brienne shuffled papers on her desk, suddenly unable to look him in the eye. She heard his chair slide out while her head was down. _Good, he’ll be gone in a moment. Finally a meeting without any major incident._

She had spoken too soon.

“Are you a virgin?” Jaime was pulling on his perfectly tailored coat, eyes glinting as he shot her a look over his shoulder.

Brienne blushed crimson and hated herself for it. She didn’t need to say anything. _My face is answer enough._ He was going to laugh at her.

She waited for the blow to fall, bracing herself for it.

“I was just wondering if you needed rescuing.” His tone was so serious that Brienne almost wanted to laugh.

Or maybe cry.

**Author's Note:**

> Blame for this idea goes to the wonderful Kriseis, without whom I would never have come up with this.


End file.
